Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

A sardar was always teasing his wife "Teen bachon ki maa". One day she got angry & teased him back "ek bache ka baap

Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"? Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" Teacher: No, that's wrong Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

somu:mobile bill kitna hai? Callcentre gal:just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. somu:abe Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

Technical question: Where u can find mangoes? ...no it is nt in mango tree ..shop?no wrong.. Ans: where WOMENgoes there MANgoes

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly