The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Sam to Ram:Did U kill mosquitoes?Yes.But why they still bite me at night?They must be widows of the dead ones.

A boy saw a Beautiful Gal. He went & kissed her... GAL : "Stupid...! What're U doing...??" boy : "B Com final year...And U ??"

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Height of technical thinking... A software person falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help help......!!