A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke.Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..!Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

There are Three Scientist Come together to Make AeroPlain 1 from U.S.A. 2 from Japan & 3 from India. The American Scientist arranged for Necessary Raw Materials Then Japanis Scientis Assembeled the Plain At Last Indian Scientis paint on the plain i.e Made in India

indian- i have 4 sister n 3 brothers what abt u? American-i hav no sis or no bro but i hav 4 moms frm 1st dad n 5 dads frm my 1st mom

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.