What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.

The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

Man:I'm looking for a book-"How to control ur wife"...Salesman:Sorry, we Don't Sell Fiction

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it\'s Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”