What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

History TeacheFrom where to where did the mughals rule?Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

Height of technical thinking... A software person falling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help help......!!