Dad:Why aren't you doing well in history?Pappu:Because the Teacher keeps on asking things that happened before my birth

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Man asks God: Y did u make women so beautiful? God: So that u can luv her. Man: Y did u make her so stupid? God: So that she can luv u...

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

A boy saw a Beautiful Gal. He went & kissed her... GAL : "Stupid...! What're U doing...??" boy : "B Com final year...And U ??"