Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Man calls mental hospital & asks if there is anybody in Room 27. Lady checks & tells him that the room is empty. Man: Good,that means I have really escaped.!

humne suna hai ishq mein ratoin ki neend udda jati hai plzzzzzzz koi humse bhi ishq karo hume ratoin ko neend bahut aati hai.

somu:mobile bill kitna hai? Callcentre gal:just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. somu:abe Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka.

What do u call if Bill Gate's mothr gets bored.?BEAT THISAny guess?MOTHERBOARD!Gud nite

Man1: I do not want to marry bcoz I m afraid of woman.Man2: Get married soon, then u'll b afraid of only 1 woman n start loving other

A sardar was always teasing his wife "Teen bachon ki maa". One day she got angry & teased him back "ek bache ka baap

Teen boy:Dad I want to be like Ghandhiji Dad:Good why not..!Boy:Thanx Dad so lets start with marriage as Gandhiji were married at age of 14

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---