Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

LAST NIGHT SHE CAME TO MY BED,LAYED ON MY BODY,TOOK LIQUID FROM MY BODY AND GOT SATISFACTION .SHE WAS A MOSQUITO

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.