Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!

Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street. "Who are you working for now?" asked the first. "Same people," answered the other. "My wife and four children."

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

1st thief:Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Q: If a Devil catches your wife, what will you do? A: You can do nothing...if the devil has done the MISTAKE, he has to face the CONSEQUENCES!!