A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Why do u take your wife 2 night clubs only?Laloo-By the time she gets ready no othr place is open

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens