Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Driver:is der no tree on dis road?Passengr:Sir,u r so great,I lik ur social mind.Drivr:Stupid,bus's brake has failed

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

Hus: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It is Without Information, Fighting Everytime! WIFE: No darling, its : With Idiot For Ever

FATHEHow r ur grades, son?SON: Under water, Dad.FATHEUnder water? What do u mean?SON: They're below C level.

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

Boy:My Gf broke up wth me & sent me d Kissng pics of her & her new Bf Frnd: Oh.its 2 bad Boy: Ya I know..dats Y i sent those pics 2 her Dad