One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy