Difference between a man buying a lottery and a man arguing with his wife? A: A man buying a lottery has a chance to win!

First Person: My Mom does Service.second person:my mom doesnt play tennis

Have u ever seen a monkey wrapped in a polythene. NO THEN SEE YOUR IDTENTIYCARD.

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here.

TRUE FACT:NOBEL PRIZE is not given for MATHS BECAUSE,ALFRED NOBEL's wife ran away with a MATHS PROFESSOR... Funny but Fact...!

Position of a husband is like a split AC. No matter how loud it is outside, but inside the house, it is designed to remain silent.

Chaand Ko Guroor Hai Ki, Uske Pass Noor Hai To Kya Hua, Mujhe Bhi Guroor Hai , Ki Mera Doast Langoor Hai...Ha!Ha! Ha!!!!!

Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 "world peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said "Let me try world peace"

Tum ek aise DON ho jiske paas har locker ki chabi hai.Tabhi to apko 'DON' with 'KEY' kehte hain,aur hum pyar se.."DONKEY" kehte hain..!

How can one reduce consumption of alchol? Before marriage drink only on days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r happy.

A prsn who surrenders whn he's wrong, is honest. A prsn who surrenders whn nt sure,is wise. A prsn who surrenders evn whn he's rite, he's husband !