The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..

A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ? PAPPU: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

when u kiss an american girl she says kiss me hard,when u kiss a british girl she say kiss me slow,but when u kiss an indian girl she says kisay nu na dasi

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Kid: 'Mom who is God?'Mom:'God is neither male nor fmale,not child,not adult,not blak not white &he loves children'Kid:'Oh! Michael Jakson!'

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

1st thief:Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

Question Girl : Do you love me ? Boy : Yes Dear Girl : Would you die for me ? Boy : No, mine is undying love!