Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor.Actor:what if i die?director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Elephant &Ant were walking on a bridgeThen D elephant lookd down 2the river Sudenly ant Bited D elephant.Why?Bcoz ants wife was bathing in D river.