TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Man1: I do not want to marry bcoz I m afraid of woman.Man2: Get married soon, then u'll b afraid of only 1 woman n start loving other

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

2 sardar soldiers captured a pakistani, gave him dice & said, if u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u! paki asks: 6 aya to? sardars: Then, throw again..

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!