Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

teachewat is the relation betn earth & moon? pappu: brother-sister. teacher:how? pappu: we cal earth dharti mata & moon as chanda mama

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!