Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"