Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them. Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

School girl : I dont want to take SEX EDUCATION class Teacher : Why not? School girl : Someone told me FINAL EXAM would be oral!

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.