The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

da cocktail party 1 woman said to another "Aren't u wearing ur wedding ring on da wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married da wrong man."

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

What is the next thing a Man should do after winning an argument wit his Wife ?...........Apologise

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!